Heyy, it's my birthday.
Hey hey 👋Â
How are you doing today? I hope you have had an amazing week or at least an okay one and that you are ready for the week ahead, praying it’s a great one!
Birthdays were never my thing, or so I thought. But I think I was really trying to keep my emotions in check and not set my expectations too high and end up feeling bad if things don’t turn out the way I want them to.
You see, my religious beliefs about birthdays are mostly that they should be a day of sober reflections, a day that serves as a reminder that death is nearer and for most of my life, that has been me.
For years, I have had a funky birthday mood, it involved me getting sad and moody for no clear reason, I get unnecessarily self-critical, but this year, I am repurposing all these feelings, for every time I feel like I am doing too much and there’s nothing worth celebrating, I do a little more than what I have planned. Why? Because I can! I have had so much fun in this last couple of days, I have laughed so much my face hurts, I have done cute little dances for no apparent reason and I am saving all these pocket of happiness in my heart and hope that they are sufficient on the days I need extra help seeing the good around me because I know how much work I have done, still doing to get to this place—I know the work continues and I know expressing joy and gratitude is a key part of this journey.
Even in the midst of what is a really good time, my subconscious keeps telling me to tone it down, not to show my joy too much because something might go wrong, but I am ignoring and focusing on all the things currently going right. I can be insecure, I get unsure about human relationships and what my place is in people’s life but as I sit here with some of my favorite people in one of my favorite place in the world doing one of the things I have looked forward to, as I have read the heartfelt prayers and wishes from my friends and family, I know I am loved, I am loved in ways that my insecurities is telling me I am undeserving of but I do know that I deserve it. I am incredibly loved and that’s everything.
So, here’s to me, here’s to you and here’s to everyone who has ever felt even a little fraction of what I write here, I hope that your heart slows down just a little bit for you to catch your breath, I hope that you walk with all the grace you obviously carry and I hope that life is a lot more kinder to you and I from here on out. Here’s to drinking water, minding my business and celebrating the days that are kind to me.
Thanks for sticking around till the end. You know what a really nice birthday gift would be? Reaching new readers, so do share this with your people. Really, share this time! Tenks! Dollars would be nice too, I don’t mind them. 😌
And as per usual, I love hearing your feedback, you can drop a comment or reach me at ohmyserotonin@gmail.com. ✨✨✨
PS: I am still looking forward to receiving your entries about your experience around mental health struggles, sharing other’s people stories is one of the major reasons I started this and I would really love to share yours. You can send an email if you need any more clarifications.
Till next week!
With love,
OMS