Hello there 👋,
It’s been a long minute! I hope the past weeks have been good to you, and you have been surrounded with all the kindness and joy you need to get through each day.
Long time no OMS yeah?! As we say, life has been life-ing. It’s been a rollercoaster since the last time I wrote here-a mix of good times and being knocked out cold, from celebration within the family, undergoing a medical procedure to starting a new job. The year feels longer than it has been but I am still here and that counts for something.
I read an article the other day about how anxiety makes decision-making a lot harder and there’s a science to this, something about anxiety slowing down the part of the brain, the frontal lobe that controls character, decision-making etc. and I was like oh okay, checks out.
In the last few weeks, I have had to make a decision between what I consider a need versus a want, it seems simplistic enough but making adult decisions scares me, I haven’t attained that level of self-trust that I am 100% sure my choices are mine and not from an unhealed place or a rebellious response to what I consider safe.
What I want is to be safely tucked in my safe space, physically and mentally, to know what my mind processes, to avoid uncertainties as much as possible, however it’s not what I need. I need more than all these to experience life fully, I need to take the plunge and step out of the safe haven I have built myself, whether what I need is good for me or not is yet to be known, if it is, I can always pat myself embracing the unknown and being adventurous, and if it isn’t, I’ll probably pick a lesson or two on the way , or maybe even find another reason or purpose on the way.
Since I started attempting to heal and unlearn my approach to life, I have struggled a lot more making decisions because as clearly established, I find myself questioning every tiny bit of information, which on one hand isn’t necessarily a bad thing, on the other hand, it is a lot more anxiety, so I turn to data, make lists, draw out a scale of preference, weigh pros and cons and try to leave the judgment to numbers. While this make sense logically, it still is very tricky and giving in to fear and staying with the familiar is always a tempting option. I may question my decisions and reasoning but even if I don’t fully trust myself yet, I am willing to always factor in the data while I work on trusting myself a lot more, praying and relying completely on God .
How do you know what to prioritize? How are you sure you are chasing the right things and making the right decisions and how do you eventually live with the choices you make? I’d love to hear your input, drop a comment or send an email, you know, whatever works!
That’s it for this week people, I plan to stick around this time around, and share my thoughts with you. I hope you have the most amazing week, and are surrounded with all the love you deserve.✨
With love,
—OMS
Welcome back ☺️.
I'm trusting Allah more so I try to worry less about priorities and I go with what my I understand I need first before satisfying wants.
Life's for the living and everything we do is what life is, there's no playbook really.
So live well to the best of your understanding, be kind and keep it moving no matter what.
Salam